Powell Holds Rates, Politely Tells Rate-Cut Bros to Touch Grass
JPow left rates unchanged and basically subtweeted everyone praying for cuts. The dot plot shoved easing deeper into next year — rate-cut dawgs officially down bad. 📉
The FOMC did the most JPow thing imaginable: nothing. Rates stay put, the statement got a word-for-word copy-paste, and the press conference was 45 minutes of Powell saying 'data dependent' like it owes him money.
The real gut punch was the dot plot, which quietly walked cuts further into next year. Rate-sensitive trades got vaporized in real time and the bond desk group chat went very, very quiet. Higher for longer isn't a forecast anymore, it's a lifestyle.
Bulls are coping, bears are gloating, and the only people genuinely thriving are the money-market funds printing 5-handle yields while doing absolutely nothing. Stay liquid, friends.
Private Credit Hits $1.7T, Banks Quietly Crying in the Corner
Direct lenders keep eating the banks' lunch and now have $1.7T to deploy. Regulators just realized nobody actually knows where the leverage is buried. shadow-banking szn 💀
IPO Window Cracks Open, Bankers Smell Fees Again
Two tech names priced above range and ripped on day one. The new-issue market is officially back from the dead and ECM desks are frantically dusting off the pitch decks. 🪟